This Lady Money episode is about creating a more abundant money mindset. Money Coach, Heather Picard and I discuss what a successful money mindset is and how women can turn a tendency to stress over scarcity into the ability to take financial control and the ultimate goal – life balance and a strong sense of wellbeing. • Confidence --We delve into the role lack of confidence has in reinforcing a negative money mindset and keeping women from taking action to improve their financial situation. • Money Attitudes – We talk about how survival instincts can sabotage women’s ability to live their lives in joy and abundance. • Social Change – We conclude money surprisingly has a powerful connection to the ability of women to make a real difference in the world. • Next Generation – We celebrate the next generation and our role in making sure they have the financial knowledge and encouragement to reach the potential they choose.
Guest – Heather Picard, Business Owner & Money Coach
https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherpicard/
I'm a lifetime entrepreneur who cares about making an impact on the world through all the work I do, whether it's money coaching for women, running an ecological landscape company or giving people an incredible stay at one of my vacation rentals. Always expanding and learning, I love the creativity of being an entrepreneur at the helm of creating values based businesses.
I bring everything I've learned from my 25+ years as CFO and owner of an award-winning, values-based landscape company to my work as a Cash Flow Coach for women entrepreneurs and my work as a Vacation Rental Property Manager.
Specialties:
Property Management, Financial Literacy, Values Based Businesses, Entrepreneurship, Professional and Personal Branding. Sustainability, Permaculture, Women's Empowerment
Company Vision, Target Marketing, Organization & Administration, Effective Business Management.
Life Coaching, Health & Nutrition. Intentional Living. Personal Sustainability.
Host – Teresa Mitchell, CFP
ladymoneyllc@gmail.com
In my 20 years in the industry, I have had over a thousand conversations with women who have not felt they have reached their financial potential – usually in the areas of investing and subsequent financial security. I have found the key to moving forward from the image of bag lady to empowered lady is having a different kind of conversation with women than they usually experience with a financial advisor. It is about focusing more deeply on what matters in terms of family, community and life purpose. Approaching the conversation with compassion and a goal of honest, authentic connection creates a sense of trust that makes financial education and taking investment action not only possible but desirable.
To that end I left my longtime wealth management firm and am launching a personal financial coaching platform -- LADY MONEY, LLC. It is intended to help women achieve a sense of financial wellbeing around investing for retirement that imparts peace of mind and ultimately leads to financial security.
Resources...
Financial Literacy Gap: https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2019/11/03/why-we-need-to-close-the-financial-literacy-gap-for-women/?fbclid=IwAR2lmyVzkmvs8PuysFqn_VWNghXnIjnt8QKcf8AGFwPPLS9iPuc7tb5_N_U&sh=4a284e6dce54
Financial Abundance: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-24781/why-youre-not-attracting-financial-abundance-and-how-to-fix-it.html
Teresa Mitchell: Values and money don't mix, or do they? Join me financial coach, Teresa Mitchell, to find out. Let's explore how women can make money while making a difference. This is Lady Money.
Today’s episode is about creating a more abundant money mindset. So, what is that anyway? Well – we’ll be discussing what a successful money mindset actually is. And more importantly how women can turn a tendency to stress over scarcity into the ability to take financial control. The ultimate goal is life balance, a sense of wellbeing and enough abundance to give back.
My guest is Heather Picard, a money coach and entrepreneur. She has a number of insights I think you will find useful. Let's get started!
Teresa Mitchell: Welcome Heather. It's a pleasure to have you on Lady Money -- the Podcast.
Heather Picard: Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm honored that you'd ask.
Teresa Mitchell: Well, the topic that I picked today was creating an abundant mindset. I think people know what a mindset is, but I'm not sure our listeners really know what a money mindset is. Maybe we could talk a little bit about that. What is a money mindset?
Heather Picard: I think it's critical to our ability to make money. What is our mindset, what are we thinking about it day in and day out? We're constantly in transaction with money, at every turn where, you know, taking out our credit cards or using our apple phones to pay for something. So, we're up against it a lot. Do I have enough? Oh, I have a lot. I'm going to treat myself. Who needs this? Should I give more? So, being conscientious about what am I calling towards me? What am I attracting into my sphere by virtue of what I'm thinking about it? And every time we look at there's not enough, guess what we're going to find. There's not enough. So, we're just already setting ourselves up for the disappointment.
The truth is that we live in a culture of scarcity. There's not enough money. Obviously. That's the big one. There's not enough time. I didn't get enough sleep. You know? I didn't get enough vacation, whatever it is. And this is like the air we breathe. Everybody's talking about it or connecting in this kind of negative way. So, money falls right in there. I don't have enough. Where can I get more? You know, dah, dah, dah, they're just constant.
Teresa Mitchell: And it's so stressful.
Heather Picard: Yeah. Especially if you're looking at all the parts that you don't have enough.
Teresa Mitchell: You're making me realize because I'm a retired financial planner, but when I take out a credit card, there's sort of a lack of reality there. I'm, I'm pretty disengaged from it. And then if it's a big purchase, I find those feelings of scarcity of not having enough money bubble up, even though it's not really true, but I feel threatened. The reason I mentioned that is because, I forget that I have more control over this than I think I do.
Heather Picard: Yeah. Yeah. They're old patterns, right? Their survival patterns. We haven't really caught up to the fact that we live in a modern world. We're still in our reptilian brain of, oh my God. I'm not going to get enough food in my mouth to survive. And for some people that's actually true, but for you and I and the women that you work with, and I've worked with, it's not true. They have enough money to invest in themselves, to hire a coach or sign up for a program. Most people that are completely fine, whether they're just living paycheck to paycheck, or if they really do have flush amount of money are still kind of tracking that. I don't have enough and where is there more? So, it really does come down to our beliefs about it.
Teresa Mitchell: It robs you of the joy in your life. So, now I'd like to talk about the flip side. The great side is abundance. If we did a survey, everybody wants to feel that way. Everyone wants to live that way, but it's not so easy. So, can you talk a little bit about what abundance looks like and not just money, in life. Just having that feeling of fullness, of plenty...
Heather Picard: When we think about money, it's not about amassing money. Like the physical money for us. It's really that the money represents something that we want. We want an experience. Right?
Teresa Mitchell: Right.
Heather Picard: Variance of abundance, of freedom, of relaxation, of whatever -- love, joy. So, the money is the tool but somehow we give it all this extra power. But it's really the experience that we want -- to buy the house, to have an experience of a beautiful house, whatever it is, -- travel the world.
So, when we think about what we want, we expand into abundance because it represents abundance in one way or another. It represents expansion out of whatever our circumstances are. So, to me, abundant mindset is really about turning our focus from what we don't have to what we do have right now and being grateful for that. And paying attention and using that North Star of your vision, for the experiences that you want. That is the thing that calls you forth and gives you clarity about what action you take to generate the money, to support that dream.
And it also opens you up to receiving. Letting the universe support you so that you're not doing all the work. You're actually calling it forth. You're taking steps, but you're not pushing, pushing, pushing, trying, trying, trying out of a fear that if you don't work hard enough, you're not going to get what you want.
And so, what do we do as women? We just work harder. Because society has put us in certain roles and we're trying to be more than that. And so, we were like, okay, I'll be like, supermom. And then my business or my job. We just work harder. And then what happens?
Teresa Mitchell: Studies show it doesn't work, if your basic needs aren't met, that's a problem. It's super stressful. That's all you're going to be able to be concerned with. But once you have enough and that's, you know, that's kind of a sibling of abundance, it's, you know, that feeling of enough, then you're free to work on your relationships, to live your sense of purpose.
Heather Picard: Yes. Because you're not in survival, you know, you have enough. And that's a big piece of the mindset too, is recognizing that where you are right now is okay.
Teresa Mitchell: What about the roadblocks? I grew up in a family where we barely had enough money. That was a constant challenge when I was growing up actually up until I went to college. I've carried that over with me and it's really hard to shake. I think a lot of people don't understand how early we form beliefs and how important they are. So, could you say a little bit about that?
Heather Picard: Yeah, absolutely. I was thinking to bring that piece in, because I think that's one of the most revelatory pieces in the work that I've done, um, in the feedback is, Wow -- I didn't realize that I learned this as a child and I've been operating and looking through that lens my whole life. You know, when I was a little girl, like most people, I heard my parents fighting over money and they thought a lot about a lot of things, but the big blowout fights were about money.
And, you know, as a child, you're looking through a very simple lens and you draw a conclusion. You don't realize how complex the world is and how money fluctuates. You just draw the conclusion. So, my conclusion was, there's not enough. And I’ve got to go make my own because I don't want to burden my parents. And so literally at seven or eight years old, my girlfriend and I, we knocked on doors in the neighborhood and we just said, do you have a job for us? And we ended up working all over the neighborhood, becoming these little entrepreneurs. Folding, well, you know, letters for envelopes and harvesting plums and cleaning and cooking and babysitting. It came from a place of, I better do this or we're all going down. Right? So, I carried that forward. There's not enough. And I’ve got to work hard for it my whole life until, you know, more recently when I kind of woke up to that, there was another way to approach this.
Teresa Mitchell: I think that's one of the reasons you seem so self-assured. I'm really proud of what I accomplished, but when I was a child, I didn't do what you did. I was basically frozen. Is there something women can do if they’re if they're like me? You recognized the problem and you did something and you've carried that through your life. I'm sure that's a very powerful message that when things are rough that you can really reflect on. I didn't think of doing that. And that feeling of helplessness is something that is equally a problem, to the feeling of scarcity for me.
Heather Picard: Yeah. Because we all respond differently to like the shock of something or the upset. Right? There are people that get into action and there's people that freeze.
What can you do if you freeze? You can be reminded that there's, I mean, by virtue of me saying, as I suppose, you know, that you have a choice about this piece, like we can't control our circumstances, the circumstances that happened in the world. Okay. Whether the economy is going to tank or whatever, you know. But we can control our thoughts?
You can watch them, you can manage them, you can reroute them. So, the freeze tells you you're in survival, the freeze or the flight, or the action tells you you're in reaction to something and it feels threatening. It feels like a life-or-death thing. That's why you freeze. That's what animals do. Right? They either freeze like the possum or they run like the deer.
So, you know, I think it's important to just like stop and, and call it for what it is like, okay. I am, I'm in reaction. I'm in survival. I can feel this. This is an old thing. I know it so well, it's like a well-worn sweater that you can't get rid of . It's just going to keep slipping back on. In fact, I don't know that it ever goes away, frankly. It doesn't because it's like deeply steeped in us for our lives.
Teresa Mitchell: Like a cup of tea that you've got a little bit too strong, I guess. Um, one thing that you just said was just by being aware of the feelings, rather than my way of approaching it. Before was -- no, no, no. Just trying to push it away. But as you say, you do have control, but not in that way, not in those basic primitive emotions coming up. They seem to, they're just going to do that. So, having the awareness that you said. And then, um, what do you think of mindfulness? I'm really late in the game on this and just getting into it. But that's how it feels -- like it's helpful.
Heather Picard: It's so helpful. First of all, when we're in reaction, we're in reaction, right? It's out of control. Our minds are racing, whatever. The second you make a choice, like I'm going to step back for a moment. I'm going to pull back and give myself a bird's-eye view. Then you become the observer of your thoughts and you no longer at the effect of your thoughts. You're now witnessing them as if you were looking at someone next to you and saying, wow, look at them spin out. Now you've stopped. You have stopped the track the second you acknowledge I'm having that thought.
That's what my journey with meditation has really taught me. Is that you can now be better with and watch your patterns. So, the pattern is constantly come up. They do, especially around money every time, you know, you got the big purchase in your situation or whatever it is... Or like making a contribution to somebody that's homeless and stuff that brings it up for you.
So, you can become mindful of your... In fact, I think it's imperative, if you really want to switch your money mindset, is that you have to become the witness. You have to become the observer of your patterns to break the pattern.
Teresa Mitchell: And that's really a good life lesson. That's one of the things that I'm trying to do. I'm one of those people that makes a big deal out of everything. There's the plus side to that because I'm a joyous and optimistic and enthusiastic person a lot of the times, but the problem is I get bowled over pretty easily.
And so, I like what you're saying on that, because as the observer, I think it helps you put things in perspective. Right? Which I think is really helpful. And this leads to another thing that I think is important and that's confidence. I want to read something that was on your Facebook page.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure.” That, that's wonderful because one of the issues we've kind of talked around this, but because women tend to have some issues with their relationship with money. I found in talking to so many people over the years, that they were confident in certain areas of their life but not when it came to money. I would ask them, well, what do you do? What is your life about? And it would be this wonderful conversation. And then we'd get back to why they called, which was -- they were worried they didn't have enough money for retirement, or they messed things up in some way. I would've loved to have had a recording because it was like I was speaking to an entirely different person. So, you know I think we're seeing today, women become more and more confident in many areas, but even in the generations that are coming after us, I don't think confidence in money is one of them. Do you have anything to share about that? What can we do about this?
Heather Picard: So many thoughts. Um, yes. I'm glad you circled back to this cause you, you spoke to my confidence, and I think that it's important to know that like, yeah, we are, we are complex beings, right? We have different sides of ourselves and, um, women are amazing. We're so resilient. We're so tough. We, you know, we just, we persevere, we take care of others, we juggle it all. We're, we're amazing. And we, and we create life on this planet. And this money thing is a legacy that we have inherited from generations and generations of women. Who were never empowered with it. Were told they couldn't use it. They didn't have any say in the matter. That their opinions weren't important. And they were vetoed. And like a slavery legacy -- that steeped into our psyches that we're not worthy or smart enough or mathematical enough to manage our own money.
So, it's not personal, it's collective as women, we've inherited a legacy of disempowerment around our money. And so there lies why there's this experience of a woman being extremely confident. And then this part that's completely like, I don't understand this. It confuses me. I'm worried. I'm scared. I don't know if I have what it takes to be truly abundant financially.
Teresa Mitchell: Yeah, it's kind of like a panic attack.
Heather Picard: Even if they're like crazy at the top of their career and have the successful business, it doesn't matter. There's still this piece. Like I'm not enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not something enough. Mostly it's I'm not smart enough to make the money.
Teresa Mitchell: Well, I think it's also a little bit like getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar. I was out and out told by my parents when I was starting college not to worry about it too much because it was really going to be my husband's career that was really going to matter. I don't think that's what young women are hearing today, but there still seems to be the same sort of roadblock area against women breaking through and being the confident, assured, amazing people they are in that arena too.
Heather Picard: Yes, exactly. And I do think that the tide is changing with the next generations. You know, I have a 22-year-old daughter and she does have some of the issues because she watched us almost go bankrupt during the recession and heard that whole fallout between my husband and me. It's a family business and got her trauma around money through that. Unfortunately, I wasn't tracking my money mindset. In fact, that's how I ended up doing what I do. It was a wake-up call. But she doesn't have the same thing. She's much more bold. In fact, you know, I think every generation kind of looks up and says -- I don't want to do that my mom did. I want to do it differently. And there's so many more ways to make money now. We didn't have those opportunities.
Teresa Mitchell: I think you gave her permission to be bold because, you know, I've been thinking about when we were talking about your experiences. At least your folks fought about the money, and you got to hear that. In my case never, never discussed at all. The only thing was my mom running out of her budget money at the end of the month. Then it was really a challenge. We were eating fried bologna or whatever. She didn't feel comfortable talking to my dad. So, by the time I got to high school she'd occasionally take me aside and say I'm not sure if we're going to have enough money for our mortgage. I wanted to be just like the other kids. Am I going to get invited to the prom? Or how am I going to do in this class grade-wise? Not, oh my God, are we going to have a roof over our heads. I'm not blaming anyone because they're not a lot of classes on parenting. So, I think that was really a gift to your daughter having that experience and letting her in, without just hearing the scary parts. I don't know. What do you think?
Heather Picard: Yeah. You know, my spiritual counselor says, even if we try to protect kids, our children from these, these challenges and these sufferings or fights or whatever, they pick it all up, they pick it all up. Even if we think they didn't hear whatever they pick it all up. And I was like, yeah, of course they do. Right? So, it was a really rough time that period, uh, going through that particular thing with my business and it was rough too have our kids bear witness to that, you know. But it was also turning point, which they all are right. Are our biggest challenges can be our biggest, they are tend to be on biggest lessons or our biggest gifts. If we choose to look at them about what, what did we learn out of this?
Teresa Mitchell: Well, I know why you got through it so well because it wasn't all about you. It was that in your soul of making a difference. So, I noticed in one of your videos, it was actually Valentine's Day, which I know this isn't, but I loved that exercise because I don't think people think about this enough and especially women with everything they've got going.
It was the one where you draw a heart and you put your calling (you had some different terms for it). I just wondered if you could share something about that, because I feel like a lot of people, men and women, don't figure that out and it's one of the reasons, again, they don't have that North Star, so they just feel sort of eaten up by life. And money's a big part of that.
Heather Picard: So, the exercise I think you're referring to is just really about focusing your attention on what it is you want, your desires. And it really is coming down to the feeling of that desire. We talked about it in the beginning of this conversation. It gets you in touch with what feels good and feels like joy. And it feels like love. It's what drives us with anything. Whether we want to feel more connected to our children or more connected to the earth or whatever -- it is the driver. We want the experience of feeling connected and love and joy. Things that are in gratitude. This is where we can rest. And other things like thinking about money is often not a restful place. So that's what that exercise was. Draw a heart and put inside of it what it is you desire; what it is you want. What do you love? What brings you joy? It was a different angle on Valentine's, you know.
Teresa Mitchell: Well, I really liked it. I actually did the exercise, and I came up with a word and that is possibilities. And that's not the way I've lived my life. I've been one of those people, that have scripted everything out, whether it's a conversation, a relationship, you know, something that's going to happen in the future. Honestly, I'm kind of embarrassed to say, but I kind of go back and rescript things that happened in the past because I wished they had come out a little differently.
So, possibilities. What I like about that is just to be more open, as you said, what the universe can provide. Because truthfully the times I've been able to do that what's actually happened, and the options, the possibilities I've had have been so much better than anything I could dream or makeup.
Heather Picard: Yes. Because when you're open to all possibilities, now you're open to possibilities you've never thought of. But if you are trying to anticipate, and I'm, by the way, I was completely hardware, the same way you are. I want to script everything, I want to, you know... I have that -- certainly me in the past was all about scripting, making sure everything was under control and what have you. Right? Um, but what that is, that's using our past experiences to formulate what we think is going to happen in the future. So, it's basically recreating the past, but when we're open to possibility and we're like, anything could happen. I'm open to it turning out a different way. Now we're open to a different outcome because you're now just opening yourself up to receiving and letting it come and trusting that you're enough and that you can call it in. And this is the main piece on the money journey. Opening up to receiving rather than going after and seeking and burning yourself out.
This is the key because as women we give and we give, and we give. We’re hardwired that way. Our hormones are designed that way. And we're not so good at receiving. I discovered that it's about self-care. Because when I take care of myself, when I stop and I go OK, I’m going a prioritize meditating. I'm going to prioritize taking care of myself before I respond to someone else's need. Now I'm saying I'm worth it. And I'm getting grounded. And I'm saying I'm open to receiving because I am worthy of receiving. I never would have realized that self-care was part of a money mindset. That it's part of bringing in abundance, bringing in more money, but it is.
Teresa Mitchell: You know, I think maybe that's one of the places that scarcity comes in. When you think about that, I've been realizing the same thing about myself and, you know, you keep basically giving, giving, giving on an empty tank and kind of approaching it in the wrong way. For me, it's almost as if trying too hard, you know, I'm going to fill that tank, but it is receiving, it's not really about the effort. It's about the surrender. And that for me has been hard to understand.
Heather Picard: So, can I speak to the surrender piece please? Because, you know, I keep referencing this, this terrible year and my kids being traumatized by hearing it. And the surrender, it's such a key component of that story because basically, you know, we'd been in business for 20 years, living paycheck to paycheck and not feeling abundant at all, definitely living in scarcity. And, um, and that year was a perfect storm. It was still recession. We had really difficult clients. We had hired a new designer, all these things. And I was watching the ship go down and I'm the CFO of our company. My husband's a visionary and he likes to spend and these big things. And I'm the gatekeeper of the money and the tension, and the tension between he and I as husband and wife and, and I'm holding all the money tension. Cause he won't, right, he doesn't like talking about money.
So, I'm holding it as a woman who takes on, well, I'll take on the extra burden and what have you. I couldn't take it anymore. I just hit this rock bottom. We're going down. And we have to talk about what does that look like? There was so much fighting. For nine months we worked our hardest to like get out of this ditch we were in and nothing was working, nothing was turning around and we were trying harder, to work harder to dah, dah, dah. And then when I finally was like, I'm done, I'm gonna kill myself with the stress of this. I refuse and I surrender and I'm gonna look at bankruptcy. I'm gonna look at it. Bring it on. No one dies from bankruptcy.
So, we go to our tax accountant guy and I put out all the stuff on the table and he looks at it and he says, well, you're, you're not there. You're not at bankruptcy. You know, all these other things would have to happen. And I had this experience of feeling like, I'm not sure if that's good news or bad news because I am so over it. I don't care anymore. And when I walked out of the office that day, I made a commitment to myself that I would no longer let money dictate my emotions. I would no longer have it dictate my happiness because it was absolutely chipping away at any sense of happiness or joy.
And everything turned around at that moment. I kid you not, everything. The whole ship shifted. My husband got the same basic thing. Like, it doesn't matter, whatever, we surrender and that was the shift that needed to happen. And then it all started to line up. And now our business has never been more successful. And I really know in my heart of hearts, that it comes down to that. We shifted our mindset about it.
Teresa Mitchell: It sounds like the universe was trying awfully hard to get that message through to you guys.
Heather Picard: I think that the universe is trying to get it through to all of us. Just to open up and receive surrender, trust. It's not easy. You got bills to pay. But, you know, we have to ask ourselves, does it show up when we need it? It pretty much does.
Teresa Mitchell: And speaking again of abundance. I was thinking about that this morning and my vision was something that - I don't know whether it's flowers or champagne or whatever but bubbling over. And then I thought, wow! Yeah, but that's more than I need. There's extra. So, I wanted to talk a little bit about women, money and social change, because I think, you know, it's really important to me. And I have yet to meet another woman that doesn't really care. I'm not saying men aren't amazing in this area too, but I do think women are really wired to family, community and you know, just their society as a whole. So, I wanted to get your wisdom about that because I think women's disengagement with money is a problem in terms of filling that need to be involved in social change.
Heather Picard: Yeah. I think our drivers for why we want money are probably quite different than men's. And it is about what we do with the money. In a simple exercise I have done in my workshops, I say, okay, I want you to imagine I'm giving you a hundred dollars and I want you to write down what you would spend on it. And now I'm going to give you a thousand and now I'm going to give you ten thousand. And there's a certain point where, it's like pretty quick, where it shifts from, Hey, you know, buying some nice leather boots and, you know, going on that vacation -- to helping my child pay off their student loan, contributing to this great cause. It's pretty early on in that exercise because there's a feeling of, I have enough now in this mental, you know, this Imaginarium. You just gave me a hundred thousand dollars. I have enough, and now I want to give it to someone else.
And that is kind of, I think, is the feminine hard wiring. So that is a driver. Because the more money that we make as women, obviously it gives us more opportunity and possibility and freedom. It gives us the opportunity to invest in what is important to us. And what's important to us often is family, community, the world, whatever your sphere is. It is about giving back, and money is about giving and receiving. So naturally you don't want it to just be stopping with you. No, it's about doing something with it that's meaningful. So that's what I love about women and money. The more money women have that are in touch with the abundance can, can fuel and fund and contribute this money for change. And so, if there was more money in the hands of women, I think we would see more change in the world that was serving, not just an individual, but serving the collective.
Teresa Mitchell: It's really true. For Lady Money I approach it through education and empowerment. But the final end game is investing because women don't feel competent doing that. They're risk adverse, especially if they inherit money or end up having to take control after the disability or death of a partner. Then it ends up in a savings account as opposed to being invested. And so, one part of my program is not only investing 101, because part of it is that women don't know enough about it, but it's sharing the concept of Sustainable Investing. Because if you find a good mutual fund company, they're really involved in shareholder advocacy. That's where one woman's voice isn't very strong but if you put your voice together with hundreds, thousands, millions of other women, you can change the world. And so, I try to use it as motivation to get through that rough part, you know, the fears. We know women cando it, but they do have to do it.
Not getting on top of their financial situation is a deal breaker. Money is inanimate, but there's a lot of power in it. You don't have to play the game the same way, but you at least have to get it and be in a position to do it. And that starts just like self-care, you know? I mean, that's what it is. You start with yourself, then you have filled up the reservoir and have something to give to the rest of the world. It's the same with making social change. You have to have control over your own life and that's, that's a part of.
Heather Picard: Absolutely. And I think managing your money is self-care. I'm glad you brought that up because if you're tracking it, you're not obsessing about it, but you're holding it loosely and you know where you're at and you're actually looking at it. There's a lot of avoidance. There's huge avoidance with women to look at their money. I just don't look; I don't balance my checkbook. It just stresses me out. So, there's this avoidance and in the unknown is where the fear lies. Because if you don't know what's going on, you actually make up probably worse than what your situation is. So that fuels the fire. But looking and tracking is self-care because then you can rest because you know, what's going on, your eyes are wide open.
Yeah. I love your reference to the collective. Pulling together. And I think that this is a collective experience of us waking up, as a gender in our relationship to money, because we can see all the ways that we've been limited and how the money's not going towards the issues that we need to have money behind. Right? Climate change, women's empowerment, whatever it is, you know, it's like, there's so many things and women have those concerns and want to put money behind it. So, I think this is a really significant thing for women to wake up and to step into their power with money and throw off the shackles of I'm not smart enough.
You know, one of the things I would always end one of my classes with was a little visualization. At the end I would say, you're smart enough, you're resourceful enough and you have what it takes. This is not rocket science ladies. So, it's not like you have to go back and get a math degree. It's really about just embracing that you have enough to figure this out. You do, and you maybe need someone like you, Teresa, to hold their hand -- to kind of comfort and say, you got this, you got this.
Teresa Mitchell: Well, you're doing that too. Right? You're walking the talk. I want to talk a little bit more about your daughter because you're doing something very interesting right now. And we're talking about saving the world, but you do that one person and one step at a time. So, can you tell us a little bit about -- you and your daughter have an interesting venture?
Heather Picard: So, during this pandemic everything has been changed. We're examining all these pieces. And I came across this interview that was very inspiring about this business model. It was about setting up a passive income business and it kind of perked my interest, but it sounded very smart and simple and doable. But it struck me that my daughter would love this model. Basically, we're doing short-term rental property management and that it could become this way for me to teach her how to be an entrepreneur. Because she said to me, mom, I don't think I could ever work for anybody else again. I need to be my own boss. And I was like, I could have told you that when you were like six months old. So, I decided to approach this as like a vocational schooling for her to be a business owner.
So basically, we started this business in January and I'm teaching her everything I know as we go. And she's, by the way, assisted me in my money classes. So, she's been able to do some of these exercises and get the money mindset too, which is cool. I brought her into those on purpose. I already noticed that she has a different relationship to money.
It's been great to be able to pass that on because I want to break the legacy of what I've inherited. No one in my lineage was, as a woman, financially independent or abundant or anything. And I want a different outcome for her. I want her to go for it. You know, she wants to be able to live in many different parts of the world and still make money and what have you, and why not go for that? You know, why limit yourself? So, she and I are doing this business and I'm teaching her and we're learning together because it's a business I've never done. And it feels good. It feels good to break the pattern of the past for sure.
Teresa Mitchell: And it's breaking the taboo of talking about money because I have a feeling that if she chooses to have a family of her own, that those kids are going to be raised differently than many of us were. And that those conversations, you know, as people realize that it's not all about money, money is not your identity. That money is just a really powerful vehicle, a means to an end. So, when people start realizing that then it's a lot easier to talk about it because it isn't about the car you drive it isn't about how much money you earn or how big a house you have. It's about other things -- so those are what the meaningful conversations are really about.
Heather Picard: Yes. Yes. Are you satisfied? Are you doing things in your life that bring you joy and happiness and deep satisfaction? That's really what it is we're all craving.
Teresa Mitchell: Absolutely. If you had a few words of advice or encouragement or inspiration for women just get getting started down the path to a better relationship with money, a more abundant mindset, what would those be?
Heather Picard: My advice would be to start witnessing your thoughts, start tracking them. Just notice -- you don't have to judge them. You don't have to change them. You don't have to do anything at first. Just notice when you get hooked, you can feel it in your body. The second you pull out the credit card and it's, yeah, you're like, right. We stopped breathing. You know, there's all sorts of visceral things that happen to us. And then, um, I would suggest, you know, there were three things that I thought of. One was, um, again, to tell yourself, I can do this, I can do this. I'm smart. I can figure this out. Even though in this moment, I'm feeling like it's overwhelming. I don't want to look at it. I still can do this. Right. A little reassurance. And then I think this, this gratitude piece. Stopping to recognize and be thankful for what you do have this moment. Then it grounds you in I'm okay. Right now, I'm fine. It brings you into the present moment, what I'm grateful for now. And with that, you can move into what I'm grateful for that's coming towards me. You're setting yourself up for that experience because it is those emotions that draw us towards action. I feel like this is one of these little secrets that I've discovered. Imagine the future for what you want. Feeling the emotions of it, not the how to, not work out the how to, that'll unfold. Just using that North Star as you called it, of what it is, the experience that you want and going for that and thanking the universe for giving it to you because you know it's coming. And it's pretty magic. What happens? Things start to line up. That's my experience.
Teresa Mitchell: And it feels like the world is, is holding you in your hands. As I was listening to you, describe this because there's something about, you know, I was trying to let myself feel that way. And when you are open, when you're not fighting anything, you know, that being open to receive, you will.
Heather Picard: There's this great quote. The Soul of Money written by Lynn Twist. So, Lynn and I worked together, my first job out of grad school. And she talks about money being like water. When we hold it back, when we, we restrict it and damn it up, we are creating something that is toxic. It becomes stagnant and can kill things. But when water is flowing, it is cleansing and purifying and life-giving. So, this clinging to our money is the resistance. And that is what is preventing more from coming that is what's creating the suffering and the worry. But letting it flow, now it's an exchange because it really is just energy. I value this thing. I'm going to give you my money for it. And there's a reciprocity, right? There's a giving and receiving. Can I let it go? Can I surrender and go downstream instead of fighting and clamoring for the shores and trying to stop the water and hold onto it and amass the wealth.
Teresa Mitchell: That's a beautiful, beautiful vision.
Heather Picard: And I love that because it is a beautiful vision and I'm so grateful that Lynn had that. It's a good visualization around money to think of it like a water.
Teresa Mitchell: Well, thank you so much. This has been an amazing conversation. I've really enjoyed it. And I feel like I've learned so much. Thank you.
Teresa Mitchell: I hope you enjoyed this episode. For me, there were a number of valuable takeaways.
Thank you so much for listening. If you would like more information on Heather Picard, her LinkedIn is https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherpicard/. For the Lady Money coaching program or blog, you can email me your host, Teresa Mitchell, at ladymoneyllc@gmail.com or check out the show notes.
So, until next time, this has been Lady Money, where money and values do mix.